Born and raised in Texas, I annoyingly – and a little naively – was more than content to do the normal routine of life. Graduate high school, then college, get a good job, meet a nice guy, get married, and have 2 kids and a couple of dogs. As they say in the south – and elsewhere I’m sure – we make plans and God laughs. Well, my guy up there must have had a MAJOR stitch in his side when he thinks about me.
Honestly, I thought I was on the track to this standard-looking life. I’d graduated high school and college, got a decent job (in Texas!), and met a great guy. I met my husband during a rocky time in my life though. Coping with coming off an eating disorder and struggling in my family relationship while battling suicidal thoughts and crippling anxiety did not make for a fun person to date, in my opinion. He disagreed apparently. We fell hard fast and by month four of dating, he threw me a curve ball. He worked for Shell, an oil and gas company, as an engineer and was being told by his leadership he was very talented and they thought he could benefit from doing an assignment abroad. I’m sitting there thinking ‘That’s great!’ Then he asks if I would go with him.
“Yeah, I’d absolutely go with you,” was my breezy reply.
He looked at me skeptically and we kept eating our dinners.
What’s most shocking about this was I had never left the United States. I had no passport and I barely traveled at all (being a money conscious and a deeply anxious person). Right after the words left my mouth I’m thinking, “Savannah….what the h*** was that?!”
Obviously, he could tell I needed a minute and we did end up talking about it more in-depth a few other times. Not just that night, but for quite a few months. As time went on, it became more and more obvious that this wasn’t a ‘maybe one day’ or ‘in a few years’ kind of situation. This was on the horizon – fast approaching.
Even while freaking out about this potentially life-altering change, I stood by my answer. Eventually, the time came, and he applied to a few overseas postings and was selected to go to… drumroll, please….Brunei Darussalam! Wait…what?… Where? These aren’t just your questions; I too was sitting there wondering where this place I had never heard of was. A tiny country on the island of Borneo in Southeast Asia is where he was headed. The catch was, the country is under sharia law. Meaning to go, we had to get married. He had 4 months before he left meaning a courthouse wedding was all we had time for. Not exactly ideal but time was of the essence and there was no room for planning a major event while trying to uproot and move your whole life.
It was a bit of an ultimatum, we get married and I go with him, or that’s it and we break up. The distance was just too big for us to try and date from afar for four years. I want to say I knew right away I was going but I didn’t have a clue what I was going to do. Was I brave enough to basically give up everything – my career, my family, a wedding – and follow him across the world?
The answer; yes.
We did the courthouse wedding, I quit my job, said my goodbyes, and off we went. It was the scariest thing I have ever done and I was a cheerleader for 7 years. Being thrown feet in the air or flipping without touching the ground does not even begin to compare let me tell you. But I did it. And I continue to do it every day that I wake up as an ex-pat. It’s the single hardest experience I have ever had but with that came a lot of growing up and life lessons I either would have learned a lot later in life or not at all. There are days I wake up and still think “what the hell am I doing” but I don’t feel like these thoughts are unique to my situation. I think, now especially as I get older, most adults have this constant feeling of ‘lost’ and if anybody says they’ve got all the answers, they’re a downright liar.
So now we are about 3 years into this and I can’t say I have this lifestyle down to a science, but with the support of my amazing spouse, I’ve developed a routine, made solid friendships, and maintained a resolve to make the most out of this strange and unique experience. Every day is a new challenge and a new adventure and if I’ve learned nothing else, I’ve realized that change happens everywhere and anywhere, whether you’re ready or not.
Savannah Jung 